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Writing Samples
Band 4

The table below gives information about a restaurant's average sales in three different branches in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The table below gives information about a restaurant's average sales in three different branches in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
#information #restaurant #sales #three #branches #summarise #features #comparison
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The table
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 the
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 sales of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Georgia
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Dunsmuir
Street
Use synonyms
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Drake
Street
Use synonyms
 in Vancouver in 2016. From the information given, it is clearly shown that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Georgia
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
 got the highest
transaction
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of 854, which is more than two times the number of 390 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Georgia
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
.
Meanwhie
Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
, the
transaction
Use synonyms
 value of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Georgia
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 the highest
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 $10.69
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Dunsmuir
Street
Use synonyms
 got the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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with
Change preposition
at
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 only $5.61.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the number of
transcation
Correct your spelling
transaction
transactions
, both the eat-in and take-away
transaction
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Georgia
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
 was the top among the three, which was 405 and 449 respectively,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Drake
Street
Use synonyms
 had the both lowest eat-in and take-away
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
 with 200 and 190 respectively. And chicken was the
best selling
Add a hyphen
best-selling
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items
Fix the agreement mistake
item
show examples
 in all shops.
As a result
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Georgia
Use synonyms
Street
Use synonyms
 is the shop with the most
satifatory
Correct your spelling
satisfactory
 one and can
owns
Change the verb form
own
show examples
 the highest
expactation
Correct your spelling
expectation
expectations
 among the three.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words georgia, street, transaction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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