IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie charts below show the spending of UK families on diferent areas in 1990 and 2000.

The pie charts below show the spending of UK families on diferent areas in 1990 and 2000.
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The pie chart illustrates how much money was spent on six different major
UK
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families
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 including
food
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, transport,
education
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, leisure,
savings
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 and rent in two separate years 1990 and 2000. In 1990,
food
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 was the most spending of
UK
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families
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 with the number 35,
while
Linking Words
 much less
food
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 spending of
UK
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families
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 in 2000(just the amount of 25).
However
Linking Words
, compared with the 1990 and 2000 period the spending on
food
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,
education
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, and
savings
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 experienced a downward trend. The
food
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 falling dramatically which form the number of 35 under the number of 25.
Education
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 and
savings
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also
Linking Words
 drop slowly it is 4 percent from 12% and 6% down to 8% and 2%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 rent and leisure showed an upward trend, those from 27% and 10% went up to 34% and 21%. Both were ascended. The spending on transport remained unchanged with a proportion of 10%
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the proportion of money spent on rent and leisure increased,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figures for
food
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,
education
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 and
savings
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 decreased over the period given. We can
also
Linking Words
 see that the spending of
UK
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families
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 on transport remained steady.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, families, food, education, savings with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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