Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
Youngsters now have a
noticable
effect on their Correct your spelling
noticeable
behaviors
by Change the spelling
behaviours
the
people Correct article usage
apply
with
the same age or at the same level, it is called Change preposition
of
peer
pressure. Some believe that peer
influence plays a significant role in teenagers
Change noun form
teenagers'
teenager's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
while
others argue that it can have a bad influence. I believe that peer
pressure can cause
a positive impact Verb problem
have
sush
as competitiveness and aspiration, Correct your spelling
such
while
it can also
lead to bad habits such
as smoking sigarrets
.
Correct your spelling
garrets
One
the one hand, the process by which members of the same social group affect other members to do alike things, can lead to pushing Correct your spelling
On
theirselves
to success by awakening competition between them and Correct your spelling
themselves
tendency
to perform their best. In the most common situation like school,where students in the same grades are chasing to be better than their Correct article usage
the tendency
classmetes
by showing excellent results, because when their rivals get Correct your spelling
classmates
a great marks
, meanwhile they do not get, Correct the article-noun agreement
great marks
a great mark
these pupil
will have Change the determiner
this pupil
these pupils
sense
of lack which will torment them. Add an article
a sense
For example
, in the movie called
Sydney, two girls named Jess and Emily each of them has an amazing academic performance, but when Emily Verb problem
apply
got
more commendations from teachers Jess Wrong verb form
gets
got
upset , so she Wrong verb form
gets
made
every effort to be better.
Wrong verb form
makes
On the other hand
, that pressure can cause custom
Change the noun form
customs
such
as smoking and drinking alcohol even when they are not under 18, as that group persuaded them that is
not bad cause
they are doing the same but they are still okay. When Correct word choice
because
kid
sees a cool toy from other children he will be willing to get that stuff, for Add an article
a kid
thr
reason that it is Correct your spelling
the
trend
and he should own that.Add an article
a trend
the trend
For instance
, according to
the last
survey
a vast majority of students (56%) started smoking an item called vape which is Add a comma
survey,
harmfull
for everyone.But it spread among the teens Correct your spelling
harmful
as
now it is something extraordinary that Correct word choice
and
every one
uses.
In conclusion, Replace the word
everyone
peer
presure
causes success by performing competitiveness and aspiration, Correct your spelling
pressure
while
it can also
damage them by providing bad habits such
smoking
. It is predicted that, in 2065, everyone will not be affected by Change preposition
as smoking
this
peer
influence.Submitted by aizered097 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Spelling and Grammar
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'sigarrets' which should be 'cigarettes', 'commetates' instead of 'commendations', and ensure consistency in verb tenses.
Linking Words
Consider enhancing your argument with a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly and provide clearer transitions between paragraphs for improved coherence.
Sentence Variety
Experiment with more complex sentence structures to vary your writing style and demonstrate a higher proficiency in English language usage.
Structure
The essay provides a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
Use of Examples
You've used relevant examples effectively to support your points, making your argument more compelling.
Critical Thinking
Your argument acknowledges both sides of the issue, reflecting a balanced and critical approach.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.