Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In modern times, individuals prefer to have their own company and
work
for themselves rather than join an organisation. I believe
this
thing is
due to
the fact that working for yourself is much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
some cons for individuals which no one can deny,
however
, there are some pros which need to
be discuss
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be discussed
show examples
like a lack of
salary
and no
insurance
.
To begin
with, these days, a number of
people
decided to have their own business,
this
thing was because of some advantages which self-employed have. One of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
advantages is, by being self-employed,
people
can
work
whenever they want
moreover
, they can consider more free time for themselves. Another major benefit of having your own business is,
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
can select whomever they want to
work
with, when someone works for a company, they have a lot of co-workers who are very annoying and bother
people
all the time,
consequently
, those
people
create a very disturbing atmosphere for other employees; especially some bosses are very strict. Admittedly, there are some negative points for
this
notion which we cannot ignore. The first drawback is, it requires a lot of
budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
show examples
to
orgenise
Correct your spelling
organise
organize
a business, which means
people
need enough money to rent a place, equipment, and
also
, for hiring some staff.
In addition
, after being self-employed some
people
might not get a
salary
or get a lower
salary
which can cause money issues. Another drawback is that
,
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apply
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some
people
by working for an organisation get health
insurance
and other
insurance
which are very beneficial for them, self-employed do not have those insurances, especially in the first years of their
work
.
For instance
, Google company give their employees health
insurance
and with that, all their health services are almost free.
To sum up
, nowadays, we witnessed that the number of self-employers increased dramatically, because these jobs make individuals feel at ease and
also
give them
this
opportunity to choose their own colleagues,
while
not having
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
insurance
and not
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
salary
can be the disadvantages of being self-employed.
Submitted by abbasisarina340 on

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Structure
Make sure your arguments are clearly structured and easy to follow. Consider using paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas.
Vocabulary
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Avoid repetition of the same words and phrases.
Examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and engaging.
Grammar
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and typos. Proofreading your work can help you catch and correct these mistakes.
Task Response
Ensure clarity in your argumentation by directly addressing both parts of the question adequately. Elaborate on both the reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages.
Introduction & Conclusion
You effectively introduced the topic and provided a conclusion that summarises the essay’s main points.
Understanding of Topic
You have a good grasp of the topic and have addressed both aspects of the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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