In many Cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some government are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to the rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, many cities are confronted with severe issues
due to
their high population growth rate, and rural life has been recommended as a solution by some governments. This
essay will demonstrate how a decrease in urban areas' population can solve the traffic
congestion problem and illustrate its drawbacks on the efficiency of people's lives. Although
its negative effects are significant, this
essay will argue that its pros outweigh its cons.
On the one hand, the main issue with the migration of individuals to villages is the lack of access to the Internet
. While
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
have
become an undeniable part of Change the verb form
has
Add an article
an individuals
individuals
life, many rural Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
area
have no Change to a plural noun
areas
internet
connection, and living in Capitalize word
Internet
such
place
might have Correct article usage
a place
further
negative impacts on the
human life Correct article usage
apply
eficiency
and Correct your spelling
efficiency
hence
small businessess
. As a tremendous example, we can mention the ultimate access to research resources through the Correct your spelling
businesses
Internet
.
On the other hand
, if humans are convinced by governments to live in rural areas instead
of urban ones, there will be a vital improvement in traffic
congestion. For instance
, researchers assessed Venice, which was an overcrowded city in the past, by restricting its population, and the result of this
research was surprisingly effective in solving the boats' traffic
problems.
In conclusion, even though living in villages without the Internet
might limit people's access to infinite resources, it tremendously decreases the traffic
rate.Submitted by mohi.rezaiee on
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Coherence Cohesion
Ensure a variety of sentence structures are used to maintain reader interest and demonstrate linguistic capability.
Task Achievement
More detailed examples could be given to further support your main points. While Venice is a good example, additional evidence or cases could make your argument stronger.
General
Be cautious of minor inaccuracies and oversights, such as the phrase 'Internet have'. Paying attention to grammar and agreement can improve the overall quality of the essay.
Coherence Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You've presented a clear stance on the issue, which is maintained throughout the essay, showing good task response.
Task Achievement
Using Venice as a real-world example to support your argument shows an effective use of specific examples to bolster your point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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