IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #leaders #leadership #skills
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Whether
human kind
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humankind
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have
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has
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 innate
skills
 of leadership or not is an essential subject of public debate.
Although
 youngsters
inherite
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inherited
inherit
 some of the management fundamentals from their families and the environment, I will argue that not only these features are not practically natural but
also
 they are
of
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apply
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the most
requireded
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required
skills
 that each leader has to
aquire
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acquire
. There is a widely held view among
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 that managing is one of the
adjactives
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adjectives
 that
human
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humans
show examples
 might be born with.
This
 common belief is completely dysfunctional as a
myrial
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myriad
 of
psychologis
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psychologist
psychologists
psychology
 proved it.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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good leaders are assumed to be
bring
Wrong verb form
brought
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 up under the stricter parents' nurturing and special situations. To clarify, they will become a great manager not owing to natural
temperment
Correct your spelling
temperament
 but the education that they achieve. The most constructive approach to management
skills
,
on the other hand
,
is occurred
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occurs
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 by way of learning.
Percisely
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Precisely
, if the students
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in
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of
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in
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this
 field aim for the best to happen, they will need to look for the most experienced educators. Living in a sophisticated society, the ones need to learn up-to-the-minute information about the world of managers.
In other words
, the
skills
 that
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 was born with are not adequate anymore. In conclusion, despite the fact that each person
would
Verb problem
is
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 not born with the knowledge of how to lead
in
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at
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 young
ages
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age
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, I
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that the basics of
the
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apply
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leaderships
Fix the agreement mistake
leadership
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 have been
tought
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taught
thought
 to youth.
Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on

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Grammar and Clarity
Review sentence structure for clarity. Some sentences are convoluted or awkwardly constructed, making them difficult to understand.
Specific Examples
Develop your ideas with more detailed examples to strengthen your argument. Specific examples are sparse, making some points less convincing.
Spelling and Grammar
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'adjactives', which should be 'adjectives', and 'myrial', likely meant to be 'myriad'.
Flow and Connectivity
Ensure a coherent flow of ideas by better connecting paragraphs and points within them. Use more cohesive devices and transitions for smoother reading.
Balanced Discussion
You've effectively engaged with both perspectives of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
Introduction and Conclusion Presence
The introduction and conclusion are both present, which are fundamental to the essay's structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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