the top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Everyone needs
money
to live life and making money
is not quite easy these days. Some people
do business only aiming to earn money
for themselves while
other people
think to help people
through their work. And I think people
should be responsible for what they are doing because without customer's
satisfaction, they won't be able to Change noun form
customer
expend
their work and Correct your spelling
expand
people
will come to them only for one time.
Firstly
, no one would go to the same place to buy things if they know
that the owner Wrong verb form
knew
is
not responsible for what they Wrong verb form
was
are
selling. Not only for shopping, Wrong verb form
were
this
applies to every field. As there is a saying ' customer is always right', everyone is selling something. Some sell goods for household uses, while
others sell ideas or workloads. If a person or place is not trustworthy, they won't have any regular customers. For example
, the electronic appliances of Philips have warranty
which means that they will be in charge of it if something happens to the device within the given period.
Add an article
a warranty
Moreover
, every business needs to start from zero and slowly day by day, they make it bigger. To do this
, Customers play a crucial role. Without the consumption of the products by buyers, the owners only get failures. So, it is clear that
sellers and buyers are depending on each other. And this
can be only possible with trust. To illustrate this
, 7 eleven
shops are becoming more popular in Thailand as Correct your spelling
7-Eleven
it
can maintain Correct pronoun usage
they
the
customer service well.
In conclusion, businesses are easy to start up but difficult to maintain Correct article usage
apply
the
success and I Correct article usage
apply
am disagree
that social responsibility can be ignored just to earn Change the verb form
disagree
money
. Both are relying on one another. So, if they maintain the buyer's satisfaction, they will easily get the
regular customers for their work.Correct article usage
apply
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Introduction
Make sure your essay begins with a clear introduction that directly addresses the question. It's good to state your position clearly in the introduction for a stronger impact.
Body Paragraphs
Develop your paragraphs more fully. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by specific examples or explanations. Aim for depth and detail in your supporting points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more clearly. Transition phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly, making your essay easier to follow.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, restate your main points and your overall opinion more decisively. This helps reinforce your argument and gives your essay a strong finish.
Language Use
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Examples
Good use of relevant examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument effectively.
Structure
Your essay maintains a logical structure throughout which aids in understanding your stance and arguments.
Thesis
You have a clear thesis statement that guides the direction of your essay, effectively addressing the task prompt.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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