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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table data shows the proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the United Kingdom in 2005.

The table data shows the proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the United Kingdom in 2005.
#data #proportion #income #adults #children #items #kingdom
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The graph gives information about the proportion of income
adults
 and
children
 spent on common items in the United Kingdom namely
adults
men
women
 and
children
boys
 girls in 1989 year.
Overall
 the proportion of income
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on common showed girls and
boys
 Similar rising trends
whereas
 that of
adults
 and
women
 saw small with girls having the biggest.
According to
 the line graph that showed
adults
 rising 25 % percentage of
food
 .
Men
 average
drop
14
Change preposition
of 14
show examples
 %
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
food
 .
Women
 high 39 %percentage of
food
 .
Children
 saw
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decline
Change preposition
of
show examples
10 %percentage of
food
 .
Boys
 fall 9 %proportion of
food
 .
Grils
Correct your spelling
Grills
show examples
dramatic 11
%percentage
 of
food
 .
Adults
 sharp
drop
 5 %proportion of electronic equipment.
Men
 lower 10 %
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of electronic equipment .
Women
 very fall 1 %percentage of
electronicequipment
Correct your spelling
electronic equipment
.
Children
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 rising 23 %proportion of
electronicequipment
Correct your spelling
electronic equipment
.
Boys
 dramatic 18 %percentage of electronic equipment .
Grils
Correct your spelling
Girls
show examples
drop
 5 %percentage of
electronicequipment
Correct your spelling
electronic equipment
.
Adults
 lower
5
Correct article usage
the 5
show examples
%proportion of
music
.
Men
 saw
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 5 %proportion of
music
.
Women
 saw
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
5
Change preposition
of 5
show examples
%percentage of
music
.
Children
Change noun form
Children's
show examples
hight
Correct your spelling
height
show examples
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 39 %percentage of
music
.
Boys
 significant 38 %proportion of
music
.
Grils
 sharp rising 40 %percentage of
music
 .
Adults
 very lower 1 %proportion of
videos
. There was a
drop
Change preposition
in
show examples
Men
 and
Women
 of 2 % and 0.5% respectively of
videos
.
Children
 fall 12 %proportion of
videos
.
Boys
 average rising 18 %proportion of
videos
.
Grils
 steady rising 17
%proportion
 of
videos
.
Submitted by hamzayevasamina on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adults, children, men, women, boys, food, drop, %percentage, %proportion, grils, music, videos with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 10 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 11 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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