The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#demand #electricity #england #winter #summer #english #home #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The line chart illustrates information about the daily demand for

electricity

, especially in the winter and summer seasons by the people of England.

While the

Correct word choice

The

show examples

pie chart provides data about the consumption of

electricity

in various things.

Overall

, the winter season claims more requirements for

electricity

Whereas

, the people used the

electricity

for heating room and heating water in the largest proportion. The line graph shows fluctuations in both seasons. In winter,

demanding

Replace the word

demand

show examples

for

electricity

remains between 30k to 40k

units

till 18

hours

then

there is a rapid surge in 21

hours

which reaches around 50k

units

However

, In 24

hours

, it sharply falls to almost 32k

units

In contrast

, the requirement for

electricity

in the summer season stays under 20k

units

, but, only at 15

hours

and 23

hours

Add a missing verb

does it

show examples

hit 20k

units

. In terms of consumption of

electricity

, mostly

utilises

Wrong verb form

utilised

show examples

in the heating room and heating water with 62% as compared to 18% used in ovens, kettles and washing machines.

In addition

. Lighting, TV, Radio and

Vaccum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

show examples

cleaners, Food, and Electric tools are both the same with 15%.

Submitted by AP on Wed May 01 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, k, units, hours with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

181 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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