IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart illustrates information about the daily demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
, especially in the winter and summer seasons by the people of England.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 pie chart provides data about the consumption of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in various things.
Overall
Linking Words
, the winter season claims more requirements for
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the people used the
electricity
Use synonyms
 for heating room and heating water in the largest proportion. The line graph shows fluctuations in both seasons. In winter,
demanding
Replace the word
demand
show examples
 for
electricity
Use synonyms
 remains between 30k to 40k
units
Use synonyms
 till 18
hours
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 there is a rapid surge in 21
hours
Use synonyms
 which reaches around 50k
units
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, In 24
hours
Use synonyms
, it sharply falls to almost 32k
units
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the requirement for
electricity
Use synonyms
 in the summer season stays under 20k
units
Use synonyms
, but, only at 15
hours
Use synonyms
 and 23
hours
Use synonyms
it
Add a missing verb
does it
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 hit 20k
units
Use synonyms
. In terms of consumption of
electricity
Use synonyms
, mostly
utilises
Wrong verb form
utilised
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 in the heating room and heating water with 62% as compared to 18% used in ovens, kettles and washing machines.
In addition
Linking Words
. Lighting, TV, Radio and
Vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
show examples
 cleaners, Food, and Electric tools are both the same with 15%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, k, units, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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