IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
The bar graph illustrates
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 use of money in a family over a given period in a particular country.
Overall
 it can be seen that people
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 mostly interested
for
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 buying food in 1998,
whereas
 in 2018 they are focusing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. Looking at the dataset in more detail it can be described that in 1998 individuals
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 6%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fuel and power, which was the lowest amount in
this
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 year.
Additionally
,
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
, household and personal goods were similar
fashion
Change preposition
in fashion
show examples
. By 1968, meals had 35%, which was the highest value in the given chart.
In addition
, housing and clothing were 10%.
On the other hand
, turning to the remaining statistics it can be evident that in 2018 humans were eagerly invested for leisure
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
, which was 23%.
Moreover
, energy and private products contain only 4%, which was the minimum number in
this
 figure. Transportation includes 14% in 2018.
Furthermore
, in 2018 houses and snacks were approximately 18% and 16%.
Finally
, clothes and
Footwears
Fix the agreement mistake
Footwear
show examples
 were 5% in 2018.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
What to do next:
Look at other essays: