IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar graph illustrates
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 use of money in a family over a given period in a particular country.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that people
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 mostly interested
for
Change the preposition
in
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 buying food in 1998,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2018 they are focusing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. Looking at the dataset in more detail it can be described that in 1998 individuals
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 6%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fuel and power, which was the lowest amount in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
that
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 year.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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, household and personal goods were similar
fashion
Change preposition
in fashion
show examples
. By 1968, meals had 35%, which was the highest value in the given chart.
In addition
Linking Words
, housing and clothing were 10%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, turning to the remaining statistics it can be evident that in 2018 humans were eagerly invested for leisure
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
, which was 23%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, energy and private products contain only 4%, which was the minimum number in
this
Linking Words
 figure. Transportation includes 14% in 2018.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2018 houses and snacks were approximately 18% and 16%.
Finally
Linking Words
, clothes and
Footwears
Fix the agreement mistake
Footwear
show examples
 were 5% in 2018.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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