Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals are of the opinion that
parents
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should organise
activities
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for their
children
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's spare
time
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,
while
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some arguers think that youngsters have
freedom
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the freedom
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to choose what they want to do in their free
time
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.
This
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essay will discuss both these viewpoints and explain why I agree that free
time
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activities
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should be managed by
parents
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. On the one hand, allowing kids to do anything they want for their playtime could put their safety at a
seriously
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serious
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harm.
For example
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, if some
children
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decide to play outside without
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parents'supervision
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parents supervision
parent supervision
, they might meet some strangers who may have bad thoughts about them, and they have no
experients
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experience
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to protect themselves.
As a result
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, they could be kidnapped or something
worst
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worse
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may happen. To prevent any
potentuial
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potential
risks,
parents
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should supervise what their youth do during their spare
time
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.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
,
parents
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understand clearly their
children
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's strong and weak sides. So they can manage teenagers' daily timeline in order to develop life skills for youngsters
On the other hand
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, the argument is that youth ought to be allowed to pick their leisure
activities
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. Because kids can practice their
favorite
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favourite
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sports and improve their performance
while
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no one is pressuring them to do so when they have free
time
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.
Furthermore
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, allowing
children
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to select their own leisure
activities
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can greatly enhance their social skills. In summary, opinions can differ amongst persons.
On the other hand
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, I think
parents
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who plan their leisure
time
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for their kids have a greater chance of seeing them flourish in life.

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Grammar & Spelling
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical mistakes, as these can hinder the clear expression of your ideas.
Example Development
Develop your examples further to strengthen your argument. Detailed examples help to clearly demonstrate your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Sentence Variety & Vocabulary
Consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Clarity of Opinion
Ensure clarity in expressing your opinion. It's good practice to reiterate your stance in the conclusion to leave a strong impression on the reader.
Structure
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the coherence of your essay.
Task Response
Your essay discusses both views and provides a clear opinion, successfully meeting the task's requirements.
Use of Examples
You've made an effort to use examples, which is great for supporting your main points. Try to add more detail to these examples to enrich your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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