Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is true that
children
face numerous choices on everyday matters by
their own. Some people think that Change preposition
on
this
phenomenon is much effective
as far as they make decisions to become more independent, others argue that it is crucial for youngsters to consider Correct quantifier usage
more effective
about
matters which can affect them.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, making decisions without prediction can be a
harmful for young people. It is important to have Change the article
apply
conversation
and Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
discussion
with our parents. Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
Moreover
, children
can inspire knowledge from adults who have experienced so
far. Correct pronoun usage
it so
For instance
, kids might learn about how to manage their financial budget and what kind of food or clothes are useful. In other words
, it can be effective education for individuals who are under 18.
On the other hand
, allowing children
to make their own choices without parent
permission has its own advantages. It can be Replace the word
parental
significant
opportunity to let Add an article
a significant
children
to
give admission before they welcome adulthood and even if they make mistakes, they are more likely to learn from their past. It is all about finding Change the verb form
apply
balance
between personal preference and situation. Leading kids to independence will not be difficult if they start regulation.
Add an article
a balance
the balance
To sum up
, as far as I am concerned, it is a matters
of self-education and worth of money. I strongly agree that it is more beneficial for Change the noun form
matter
children
to aware
of entertainment, clothes and food.Add a missing verb
be aware
Submitted by buyabuya201 on
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Structure
Consider organizing your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for each view and your own opinion to enhance coherence.
Linking Words
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs for improved cohesion.
Introduction & Conclusion
Add a clear introduction that outlines the essay's structure and a conclusion that summarizes your views to strengthen the overall presentation.
Examples and Details
Incorporate more specific examples and details to support your arguments for a stronger task response.
Balance of Discussion
Make sure to clearly present and discuss both views before presenting your own opinion to fully address the essay prompt.
Understanding Topic
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic and includes arguments for both sides, which is good for task achievement.
Language Use
You have attempted to use complex sentences and a range of vocabulary, which enriches your expression.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.