some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones . why is this case / is this positive or negative development
in the contemporary big reason for excessive
era
the Add a comma
era,
use
of technology is increasing not only in
Change preposition
among
the
adults but Correct article usage
apply
also
in young
generationCorrect article usage
the young
too
, Rephrase
apply
which
has so many reasons which Correct pronoun usage
apply
i
will discuss in the following paragraphs . I believe that it has a negative Change the capitalization
I
impact
on them .
There are various causes why the use
of mobile phones
is increased
among Wrong verb form
increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
. First
and foremost reason is that education . Nowadays schools are teaching their students online Add an article
The first
due to
which students have to Change preposition
apply
use
the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
phones
for doing their homework ,assignments and other curriculam
activities . I remember when Correct your spelling
curriculum
curricular
i
was studying there Change the capitalization
I
were
no need Change the verb form
was
Change preposition
for
of
any electronic gadgets in my school , which was a really good time Change preposition
for
.
Correct your spelling
Moreover
moreover
, Change preposition
apply
in
these days parents are working so they Change preposition
apply
dont
have enough time to spend with their Verb problem
do not
children
so they give them phones
to keep them busy so they can do their work , which is also
Add an article
a
use
of mobile phones
among peers.
According to
me
Add a comma
me,
this
impact
has so many downsides to
the Change preposition
for
children
. Firstly
, it could put
Verb problem
have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
impact
on their eyes because using a phone screen for longer
time could decrease their eyesight , and could be Add an article
a longer
reason
forAdd an article
the reason
a reason
migarane
which is a serious problem for Correct your spelling
migraine
children
. For example
, one of my best friend '
Change noun form
friend's
nephew
lost her eyesight just because of using Fix the agreement mistake
nephews
computer
for whole days. Add an article
a computer
the computer
furthernore
, itCorrect your spelling
Furthermore
put
Verb problem
has
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
impact
on their behaviour , because they dont
like to talk with anyone when they are using their Correct your spelling
don't
phones
, they get irritated which is not a good habbit
.
in Correct your spelling
habit
conculsion
, there are Correct your spelling
conclusion
multifariours reasins behid
Correct your spelling
multifarious reasons behind
this
development but it has many negative impacts on children
.Submitted by jass.sekhon4693 on
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structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly by using paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should have one main idea that is expanded upon.
cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Connecting sentences and ideas smoothly will enhance your coherence.
task response
For task response, ensure you're directly addressing all parts of the question. Both the causes and the impacts should be explored thoroughly.
accuracy
Work on spelling and grammatical accuracy. Common mistakes can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
opinion
You clearly state your opinion, which is essential for a strong task response.
examples
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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