In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?
In today's world human population
has benn increased
rapidly because of that, there is a problem with the lands and Wrong verb form
is increasing
houses
not enogh
to live Correct your spelling
enough
for
Change preposition
apply
people
. In recent times, house builders companies are moving to start up there
projects in regional areas. Replace the word
their
However
, some people
do not like when they build houses
in the countryside. This
essay will elaborates
Change the verb form
elaborate
,
Change preposition
on, important
Correct article usage
the important
important
Replace the word
importance
to protect
the Change preposition
of protecting
contrtside
and not build new homes there.
First of foremost, Everyone's one of the biggest Correct your spelling
countryside
dream
is buying a house or Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
build
a house, Wrong verb form
building
according to
do that people
looking a suitable place with beautiful outside. As a trend, individuals are now moving to rurel
areas because they can feel the calm and clean environment. In my point of view, I believe that Correct your spelling
rural
people
buy those kind
of Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
houses
as a
investment property because those lands and Correct article usage
apply
houses
are really cheap. On the other hand
, individuals are not happy to live in city areas specially
, in apartments.
Replace the word
especially
However
, it's crucial to approach development in a sustainable and responsible manner. This
includes prioritizing brownfield sites, implementing green building practices, and considering alternatives such
as urban densification and repurposing existing structures. Additionally
, strict regulations and planning controls should be in place to minimize the environmental impact of new developments and ensure that the countryside is protected to the greatest extent possible.Submitted by lahiru_80 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
General
You've presented an interesting perspective on the debate about building new homes in the countryside. To enhance your essay, consider clarifying your stance more distinctly in the introduction and conclusion, ensuring the reader is fully aware of your viewpoint throughout. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments, further engaging the reader and providing a more compelling case.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a nice structure, but there's room for improvement in the logical flow and clarity of your paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases can greatly enhance the coherence and cohesion of your text, guiding the reader through your argumentation more smoothly. Consider revising your essay to include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, followed by supporting information and a concluding sentence that ties back to your overall argument.
Task Achievement
While you've made an attempt to address the prompt, your response could be more directly focused on answering the question posed. Expanding on your argument by relating it back to the key issue of the importance of protecting the countryside would make your essay more pertinent and task-focused. More explicitly stated connections between your points and the essay question will help improve the task achievement score.
Content Insight
You've effectively brought up the attractiveness of rural areas for investment and quality of life, which contributes to the debate on countryside protection versus development.
Critical Thinking
Your essay hints at a complex understanding of the issue by mentioning sustainable development and regulations, indicating a thoughtful consideration of alternatives to building new homes in unprotected countryside areas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.