IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think thats it's a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekend. Other people, think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #thats #idea #socialise #work #colleagues #evenings #weekend #life
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There are two controversial opinions that socialising with co-workers after a working day and weekends is a splendid idea.
Nonetheless
, others do believe that it is vital to separate the working and private
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.
This
 essay agrees with the first statement
due to
 the obvious fact that nice relationships with colleagues
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the surefire way to productive
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
, and disagrees with the second state as some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
jobs
Add an article
the jobs
show examples
 imply the social relations between the workers. The main prof of socialising with your colleagues after a tough working day is the fact that it may facilitate the
work
 and may lead to a polished outcome. The recent inquiry of the Belorussian Government University
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 shown that the more workers are sociable, the better and easier the
work
 goes.
However
, despite the obvious
profs
Fix the agreement mistake
proof
show examples
 of spending time with your co-workers, there are still people who do not agree with
such
 a statement. Some people deem that the working and private
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
 have to stay separated.
This
 essay does not agree with
such
believe
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
 because
without
Change preposition
apply
show examples
establishing relations with
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 with
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 you
work
 may
also
 lead to devastating results
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
show examples
 in productivity or even to creating a toxic community within the colleagues.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 recent survey
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Estonian Psychological
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 has revealed that 6 out of 10 groups of co-workers that did not maintain contact with each other had problems with
toxic
Add an article
the toxic
a toxic
show examples
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 within it. To infer, being part of a community where you
work
 is quite essential
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it can make the result of your collaboration way productive. At the same time, it is important not to neglect the people with
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 you are currently working
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as it may have a negative clout on your
work
.
Submitted by katerina21.05 on

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structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
content balance
Consider providing a more detailed examination of both views before stating your own opinion to give your essay a balanced discussion.
word choice and accuracy
Be mindful of typographical errors ('profs' should be 'pros', 'lifes' should be 'lives') and ensure correct word choices for stronger clarity and accuracy.
cohesion
To enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words or phrases to connect ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and your stance on the issue, providing a clear basis for your discussion.
use of examples
You made an effort to include examples and evidence, like referencing studies from universities, to support your arguments. This strengthens your essay by showing some research.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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