IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow their customs and behaviour. Cthers disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expcricnce.

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Nowadays Migration towards developed countries is rapidly increasing.
Due to
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this
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 one part of the society argues that immigrants should always accept foreign region and their traditions.
while
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 other people counter that immigrant countries should learn and
value
Use synonyms
 their regional habits. I believe that society should accept the tradition of immigrants who move abroad.
To begin
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 with, civilization in a migration always plays a vital role in moving abroad. I totally agree that people should accept newcomer and their
way
Use synonyms
 of living, as in the
beginning
Add a comma
beginning,
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 it's very tough for them to adopt new customs.
For Example
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. For a guy who moves
abroad
Add a comma
abroad,
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 it's very difficult for them to taste
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new cuisine which he or she has never eaten.
Besides
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this
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, the costume is
also
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 a major concern as it's a matter of comfort for a person.
However
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, visitors should respect the lifestyle of the country and should try to adopt the
way
Use synonyms
 of living. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 one should always give
value
Use synonyms
 to other habits and traditions.
Such
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 as the law and rules and regulations. a violation of
this
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 may create an imbalance in their respective culture.
For example
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, Breaking the traffic rules can create congestion on the roads. So, following a code of conduct is extremely vital.
Nevertheless
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, the resident
also
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 gives
value
Use synonyms
 to other heritage and cultures their foods and their
way
Use synonyms
 of living.
This
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 thing creates a positive impact on tourists. To illustrate, if a resident behaves in
good
Change the article
a good
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 manner with tourists they will stay for longer periods of time and indirectly they help to boost the economy by paying taxes.
To conclude
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Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
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, after seeing both sides' arguments, I would say society always stands with people who come from a long
way
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, most countries should accept cultural differences and give
value
Use synonyms
 to their own culture

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Introduction
Make sure to directly address the essay question in your introduction to establish a clear standpoint.
Body Paragraph
Develop your main points with more specific examples and details to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs and ideas through the use of cohesive devices and paragraphing.
Language
Work on varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance the complexity of your writing.
Content Coverage
Your essay provides a comprehensive overview of the topic, covering both sides of the argument effectively.
Conclusion
You successfully concluded your essay with a clear statement of your own viewpoint, which helps in rounding off your discussion.
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