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Band 2

All people should go to university, even if they are not going to use that education In their job. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #education #job
firstly
, the academic skills that we gain at school are very helpful at work to ensure that failure being able to minimalized especially in high-risk jobs.
for instance
, working in the mining industrial sector is only for employees who graduate from mining or metallurgical engineering because
this
 job is learned in the lecture.
however
, it does not mean ruling out the possibility of getting the job beyond the field.
thus
, going to university is the best way to improve our academic and hard skills in order to support our ability at work.
Submitted by gunawankohan on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific part of the question. This structure makes it easier to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
An introduction that clearly states whether you agree or disagree with the statement, followed by a paragraph for each of your main points, would enhance your task achievement score.
Language
Using a range of sentence structures and punctuations can improve the readability and sophistication of your writing.
Content
You provided a specific example to support your argument, which strengthens your essay.
Engagement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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