IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
#consumption #fish #kinds #meat #european #country
The line graph is seen the
nuber
Correct your spelling
number
 of
consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
fish
 and different
kids
Correct your spelling
kinds
show examples
 of meat namely
fish
lamb
beef
 and
chicken
 in European
betwen
Correct your spelling
between
 1979 and 2004 year.
Overall
 the number of
fish
 and
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
kids
Correct your spelling
kinds
show examples
 of meat in
Europeon
Correct your spelling
European
 country showed
chicken
 and
beef
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
 rising trends
whereas
 that of
fish
 saw small with
chicken
 having the biggest .
According to
 the line graph
that showed
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
chicken
 average
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 180
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1979.
Beef
 sharp rising 230
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
degree
 of
consumption
 in 1979.
Lamb
 a little bit
fall
 70
degree
 of
consumption
 in 1979.
Fish
 very
drop
 51
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1979.
Chicken
 minimal rising 150
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
degree
 of
consumption
 in 1984.
Beef
 sharply
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 190
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1984.
Lamb
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dramatcly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
dramatic
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 80
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1984 .
Fish
 didn't change 50
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1984 .
Chicken
 significantly rose 152
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 in 1989 .
Beef
 minimal rising 190
degree
 of
consumption
 in 1989 .
Lamb
 stably
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 130
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1989.
Fish
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dramatcly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
dropt
Correct your spelling
drop
 50
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1989.
Chicken
steady
Change the word
steadily
show examples
 rising 130
degreе
Correct your spelling
degrees
 of
consumption
 in 1994.
Beef
 minimal
fall
Replace the word
fell
show examples
136
Change preposition
by 136
show examples
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1994.
Lamb
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 80
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 in 1994.
Fish
 a gradual
drop
 48
degree
 of
consumption
 in 1994 .
Chicken
 significantly rose
200
Change preposition
by 200
show examples
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 in 1999.
Beef
 a sharply
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
150
Change preposition
by 150
show examples
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1999 .
Lamb
 slowly
dropt
Correct your spelling
dropped
60
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1999.
Fish
 didn't change 50
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 of
consumption
 in 1999. There was a rain
chicken
 and
Beef
 of 250 and 180
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
respivtively
Correct your spelling
respectively
 in 2004 .
Lamb
 minimal rising 80
degree
 of
consumption
 in 2004 .
Fish
 didn't change 50
degree
 of
consumption
 in 2004
Submitted by hamzayevasamina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, lamb, beef, chicken, degree, consumption, fall, drop with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fish
  • meat
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • gradual
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • steady
  • correlation
  • period
  • data
  • comparison
  • predominant
  • kilograms per capita
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: