There is Festival in your town every year. Your town manager wants people to help with this year's festival. Write a letter to your town manager. In your letter: Give your opinion about last year's festival How you want to be of help Ask questions about this year's festival.
Dear Sir,
I am excited to offer some of my services as you invited the people of our
town
to help in the upcoming town
's celebration.
Last
year, the event
was well-arranged and it represented the unity of our Kennedy Town
. Although
, some issues were there related to the management of Correct word choice
However
such
kind of huge social gatherings. For instance
, a kid was lost during the event
however
with the help of some volunteers, we managed to find the kid.
To avoid such
incidents further
in the upcoming event
, we should hire a security firm and an event
management company. Not only this
will encourage better handling of crowd
but Add an article
the crowd
a crowd
also
overall
safety of the public attending which is the utmost important issue. I Correct article usage
the overall
also
run an event
planning company which can offer services at reasonable
price. Add an article
a reasonable
Also
, I partner with many security companies which I can refer for
Change preposition
to for
further
information.
Furthermore
, I want to request the date and place decided for the event
. Additionally
, the theme of the festival to
be held Add a missing verb
is to
this
year. This
information could help me further
to create a unique plan for the occassion
.
I hope you will find my letter Correct your spelling
occasion
resourceful
and would like to meet up Correct word choice
helpful
the
Change preposition
with the
town
authorities to discuss more details.
Yours faithfully,
Kiranpreet KaurSubmitted by Kiran on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your letter is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Continue practicing to make your paragraphs seamlessly connect to each other for an even smoother flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
You've addressed all parts of the task, showing a good understanding of the task requirements. To further improve, consider offering more detailed suggestions and elaborating on your questions about the festival.
Tone
You provided a polite and suitable tone throughout your letter, appropriate for writing to a town manager.
Structure
The logical structure of your letter, with distinct paragraphs for different ideas, made it easy to follow.
Content Coverage
You successfully touched upon personal opinions, offers of help, and questions about the festival, matching the task's requirements.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite