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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart provides key information about Brazil's
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 ratio in
Finance
Use synonyms
, Food processing, Manufacturing, Tourism and Oil, coal and gas in the years 2009 to 2019 and 2029.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
Finance
Use synonyms
 represents a significant portion of industries.
In addition
Linking Words
, tourism and oil, coal and gas showed modest percentages throughout the period.
Whereas
Linking Words
, Food processing and manufacturing showed insignificant portions.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, In 2009 Brazil's economy related
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Finance
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 the percent accounted for around 32%.
Also
Linking Words
 in the next 10 years
growed
Verb problem
it grew
show examples
about 38%. Food processing showed a minor ratio, almost 10%.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the percentages doubled in 2019. Manufacturing showed a fluctuation from 22% to 16%. Tourism and Fossil fuels
represent
Wrong verb form
represented
show examples
 an equivalent proportion in 2009 with a growth in ratio for Fossil fuels in 2019
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 31%. in terms of Brazil's industries in 2029. The growth rate of the
finance
Use synonyms
 sector was substantial
42
Change preposition
at 42
show examples
%. fossil fuels account for 26 per cent.
While
Linking Words
 other industries showed modesty between 5 to 10 per cent.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words finance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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