Percentage change in total crime arrests for persons under 18 by locality, 1995-1998

The line graph gives information about the
percentage
of some
crime
arrests for persons under 18 by locality between 1995 and 1998.
Overall
, in 1995, teenagers committed a
crime
more than in other years in suburban
areas
, which was the biggest indicator. Moving to a detailed analysis, in the beginning, the rate of criminal incidents stood at 2 per cent and
then
this
indicator increased dramatically and reached a peak of 8% from 1995 to 1996. Afterwards, the proportion of
crime
rises significantly by 10% between 1996 and 1997 in suburban
areas
.
Finally
, despite
this
figure a slight increase to 0% in 1998. The
crime
indicator of the area of rural and urban stood at 3% and 1%, approximately.
Next,
this
figure remained stable at 3% in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
,
while
this
percentage
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slightly rose to 2% in urban
areas
between 1995 and 1996. Ultimately, the
percentage
of criminals fell gradually in rural and urban
areas
to -2% and -4%, which was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
negative
percentage
from 1997 to 1998.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure to provide a clear and concise introduction and conclusion to your essay. An effective conclusion summarizes the main points discussed and restates the overall trend or conclusion drawn from the data.
Clarity & Accuracy
Work on making your descriptions more precise and accurate. For example, reviewing the use of terms like 'slight increase to 0%' which might be confusing. Clarify whether it means there was no change or a very minimal increase.
Language Variety
Try to include a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your description and analysis of the graph.
Logical Connections
Your essay could benefit from clearer connections between ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between different points.
Comprehensive Overview
You have successfully identified and reported the trends for all the localities mentioned, providing a comprehensive overview of the data.
Detail Oriented
Your essay provides a good level of detail in breaking down the specific changes in percentage over the years for each locality.
Logical Structure
The overall structure of your essay is logical, with a clear sequence from introduction to detailed analysis and a conclusion. This helps in making your essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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