IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self employed?

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In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift towards self-employed as an alternative to traditional employment within a
company
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. The reasons that contribute to these are
,
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apply
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 better
work life
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work-life
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 balance.
However
Linking Words
, the drawbacks can be unstable income and lack of
company
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benefits
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. Individuals often choose to
self employed
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self-employed
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 to have
a
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apply
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greater control of their work-life balance. Different
than
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from
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 working a 9-5 hours job, without
needling
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needing
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 to fit into someone else schedule, being self-employed allows individuals to prioritise their work and personal life in a more efficient way.
For example
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, a lot of
full time
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full-time
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 mothers in Canada prefer self-employment,
therefore
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, they can
tailor made
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tailor-made
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 their working schedule to
accomodate
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accommodate
 the needs of looking after their children.
However
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, the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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 of self-employment should not be overlooked. Working for
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company
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the company
a company
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 provides a stable income and numerous of
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company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
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benefits
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.
Benefits
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such
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 as medical insurance, educational opportunities and subsidy,
Linking Words
also,
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as well as
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 paid sick leaves and holidays.
For instance
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, despite the long working hours, nurses that
working
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work
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 in
Australia
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Australian
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 public
hospital
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hospitals
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have16
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have 16
 weeks or more annual
leaves
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leave
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, two weeks
paid
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of paid
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 study
leaves
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leave
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 and
also
Linking Words
a
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apply
show examples
120 days
sick
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of sick
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leaves
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leave
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. In conclusion, people
that
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who
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 seek for better work-life balance are more willing to self employed rather than working in a
company
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, which provides a stable income and more
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company’s
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company
show examples
benefits
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure a more detailed explanation of why many people choose self-employment, more specific examples could enrich the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to improve the flow and readability of the essay.
task achievement
For a higher score, focus on expanding the disadvantages of self-employment with more detail and examples.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding more transitional phrases to improve the essay's coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the reasons behind and consequences of the choice for self-employment.
coherence cohesion
You've managed to provide clear main points in both sections that directly relate to the essay question.
task achievement
Examples, like the mention of full-time mothers in Canada and nurses in Australia, help to anchor your arguments in reality, making them more persuasive.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • freedom
  • pursue
  • passion
  • interest
  • income
  • financial success
  • control
  • working hours
  • work-life balance
  • empowerment
  • ownership
  • job security
  • stability
  • financial challenges
  • isolation
  • social interaction
  • self-discipline
  • motivation
  • deadlines
  • supervisors
What to do next:
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