You want to sell your bicycle. Your friend has told you that his cousin might like to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend’s cousin. In your letter explain why you are selling the bicycle describe the bicycle and how much it will cost suggest a date when your friend’s cousin can come and see the bicycle

#bicycle #friend #cousin #friend’s #cost #date

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Dear Hajisuhaidi, I am writing

this

letter to inform you that I want to sell my

bicycle

. In recent

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

, I change my mind and I want to buy

motorbike

Correct article usage

a motorbike

show examples

that is

why I want to sell the

bicycle

to earn money to

buying

Change the form of the verb

buy

show examples

a new motorbike in a

motorshop

Correct your spelling

motor shop

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

like Vespa

matic

Change the capitalization

Matic

show examples

2024.

This

bicycle

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

when I was

junior

Change preposition

in junior

show examples

high school my parent

buy

Wrong verb form

bought

show examples

it for me to

cycling going

Wrong verb form

cycle

show examples

to school,the

bicycle

is strong and you can use

Correct your spelling

show examples

anywhere you want.

Besides

, the colour is blue

combine

Replace the word

combined

show examples

with pink and of course I want to sell my

bicycle

the

Change preposition

at the

show examples

price

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

300 AUD Dollars. Because tomorrow is my day off

that is

why if you want to visit my home just tell me

from

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Email and I would like to prepare the

bicycle

and of

course

Add a comma

course,

show examples

I want to provide you

Add the preposition

with a

show examples

cup of coffee and snacks. and others. If you

interest

Add a missing verb

are interest

show examples

come

Add the particle

to come

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to my home I will say thank you very much and I wish you with your cousin

stay

Fix the infinitive

to stay

show examples

healthy and happy

everytime

Replace the word

every time

show examples

. Best regards, Ajiburrachman

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Sun May 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, aim for more precise detailing around the bicycle's features and condition, as this will help the reader make a more informed decision.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on connecting ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. This can be enhanced by using a variety of linking words and clearer topic sentences.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to maintain consistent reasoning throughout your letter to strengthen the logical flow of information.

Task Achievement

You've provided a clear reason for selling the bicycle and suggested a specific time for viewing, which is excellent for task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

The greeting and closing of your letter are well-executed, creating a polite and friendly tone.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

186 words

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