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Band 3

it is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what sort of punishment shoukd parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #shoukd #parents #teachers #behaviour
It is
sential
Correct your spelling
essential
 that parents and teachers should develop
children
's behaviour and attitude at
Correct article usage
an ealry
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ealry
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early
every
 stage of age to know
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 is right and wrong. if they are not following your
guide lines
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guidelines
show examples
 for their goodness
then
 only you have to take
a
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the
show examples
 necessary punishments but which should not be
physically
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physical
show examples
 or psychological. Up to
certain
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a certain
show examples
 level, I agree with
this
stament
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statement
 to provide
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
 for
children's
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children
show examples
. We
observing
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observe
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 a lot of
children
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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adopting present social
life styles
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lifestyles
show examples
, and thinking that
this
 is the best way to live as they are not much aware of future issues
due to
the
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their
show examples
 maturity levels
in
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at
show examples
 that age.
For instance
, we often see in television news or in our practical
life
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lives
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 some
children
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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participating in chain snatchings or pickpocketing for easy money to enjoy
the
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apply
show examples
life
.
besides
 that, the level of deviation
increasing
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increases
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to
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for
show examples
 smoking, drinking and drugs. If
children
 are going in
such
way
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a way
show examples
, when they
turned
Wrong verb form
turn
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as
Change preposition
into
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
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adults
show examples
 that could a harmful to society
as well as
 to parents. In order to prevent
the
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apply
show examples
bad habits and circles,
the
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apply
show examples
parents and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 should provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper guidance to kids from the early stage of
life
instead
 of punishment at adult age. if you provide a punishment
also
, that should not be
physically
Change the word
physical
show examples
 or
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
.
Submitted by sivareddymarella6 on

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task achievement
Try to clarify your main points more distinctly in each paragraph to enhance clarity and impact.
coherence & cohesion
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly convey your arguments and examples.
task achievement
For higher scores, ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that summarily addresses the prompt and your stance.
coherence & cohesion
Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes; proofreading can greatly improve the overall quality of your essay.
task achievement
You presented a clear stance on the importance of teaching children right from wrong.
coherence & cohesion
The essay attempts to use examples, though more specific instances could strengthen your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral and ethical development
  • deterrent
  • undesirable behavior
  • psychological harm
  • corrective measure
  • positive reinforcement
  • age-appropriate consequences
  • instilling discipline
  • constructive punishment
  • punitive
  • consistent message
  • disciplinary process
  • sense of responsibility
  • cultural, social, and familial contexts
  • appropriate discipline
  • adapted to the individual
What to do next:
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