IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates.Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #increases #crime #rates #believe #police #streets #combat
In
this
 period of globalization, many people believe that it is important that
officers
 of
law
 on the streets in order to reduce the
crime
 rate.
This
 essay agrees that
law
 controllers being able to
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 in the community can be really
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
.
Firstly
,
this
 essay will discuss how allowing them to
having
Verb problem
be
show examples
 on the streets can benefit society and
secondly
Add a comma
secondly,
show examples
 the encouragement to work in
this
field
. Supporting my agreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the given statement, I firmly believe that supporting to
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
officers
 of the
law
 who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 on the streets can have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 impact on the community. To cite an example, in many countries of the world ,
law
officers
 have been ensuring a balanced peace
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a few years.
Consequently
, lawbreakers had a feeling of avoiding public places where
have
Verb problem
there were
show examples
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
military.
Furthermore
, confidence in the organization for public events had farmed among the population.
For instance
,In 1995, In the US the street festival,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was entered in the events list
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
organized in peace because of increased the
law
Correct quantifier usage
number of law
show examples
officers
. Explaining some of the
another supporting points
Replace the adjective
another supporting point
other supporting points
show examples
 in favour of
this
 statement, it is true that using the police
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 wear a special uniform as a way of encouragement is a very good idea.
As a consequence
, Public attitude
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 in
this
field
as well as
 the interest to work in
this
field
.If many people want to be military,possibly employment of the population is ensured at a good level,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 descend
crime
 rate.
For instance
, In North Korea
last
 decade
year
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
crime
 rate
descended
Wrong verb form
has decreased
show examples
 significantly because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it has
Add an article
a fully
the fully
show examples
fully
Change the word
full
show examples
 military system and there are few people prone to
crime
 among the population. In conclusion,I agree that increasing the
law
 controllers in some locations can
be down
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
 the number of those who break the
law
.They can provide peace in public and can support their interest in
this
field
. I believe that
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 points are strongly supporting my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity of argument by directly responding to the question in the introduction and conclusion, making your position clear.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to organize ideas logically and enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Enhance your essay by providing more specific examples and details to support your arguments, ensuring they are directly relevant to the topic.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear structure, introducing the topic effectively, developing arguments, and concluding with a summary of your viewpoint.
supported main points
You've effectively supported your main points with explanations, contributing to a coherent argument throughout the essay.
complete response
Your essay successfully addresses the topic and task, providing a relevant discussion on the impact of police presence on crime rates.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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