IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information in the diagram to explain how the system works.

The diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information in the diagram to explain how the system works.
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The given diagram depicts the process of generating
electricity
Use synonyms
 by using hot underground water.
Overall
Linking Words
, the picture below illustrates
generation
Add an article
the generation
show examples
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 by using geothermal energy,
it is clear that
Linking Words
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
 process comprises 6 stages which can be grouped into 3 main steps, beginning with the pumping of liquid and ending with the backing down of pumped rain.
Also
Linking Words
, there is a vital resource
such
Linking Words
 as water.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the cycle begins with taking a hot substance from the underground and
then
Linking Words
 it is pumped by
turbine
Add an article
the turbine
a turbine
show examples
,as it pumps out it goes through
heat
Add an article
a heat
the heat
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 exchanger which extracts that heat, so a
power
Use synonyms
 station can be run.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
electricity
Use synonyms
 is generated in a specialized machine called a
power
Use synonyms
 station ,
then
Linking Words
 it is sent to the national grid by which it can be consumed by people.
Finally
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the depiction used cool water is sent back to
layer
Correct article usage
a layer
show examples
 of hot rock. Obviously, a major role is played by the
power
Use synonyms
 station where
electricity
Use synonyms
 is generated and
then
Linking Words
 where used liquid can
be appear
Change the verb form
appear
show examples
 as a
power
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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