IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Water consumption The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

Water consumption The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.
#water #consumption #information #two #countries
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The provided line graph
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 information about
use
Add an article
the use
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 of
water
Use synonyms
 around the world by sector,
while
Linking Words
table
Correct article usage
the table
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 presents data about
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in different
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 which are
Brazil
Use synonyms
 and
Congo
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is obviously seen that the most significant facts are agriculture was the most
Use synonyms
water utilizing
Add a hyphen
water-utilizing
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 field during
given
Add an article
a given
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 period of time, and the population of
Brazil
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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consumed
much
Correct quantifier usage
more
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water
Use synonyms
 than
Congo
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of
water
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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used for agriculture was 500,000 tons in 1900, it sharply increased to 2
million
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 tons over the next 100-year period.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the figures for the
water
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 which
consumed
Add a missing verb
was consumed
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for
Change preposition
by
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industrial
Add an article
the industrial
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 and domestic
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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 were 0
ton
Fix the agreement mistake
tons
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, they slightly rose to 1
million
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 and 200,000 tons respectively, from 1900 to 2000. Regarding utilization of
water
Use synonyms
 in
Brazil
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 and
Congo
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 consumption of
water
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 for each person was 359
ton
Fix the agreement mistake
tons
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 in
Brazil
Use synonyms
 with 176
million
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 population, that of Democratic Republic of
Congo
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 was 8
ton
Fix the agreement mistake
tons
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 with 5.2
million
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 residents in 2000.
Although
Linking Words
 the area of irrigated land was 26,500 square km, that of
Congo
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 was 100 square km, in two
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, brazil, congo, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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