IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some organization believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#organization #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
People always
influence
Change the form of the verb
influenced
show examples
 by the first impression which,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 our brains
effect
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 by their appearance. There is no denying the fact that organizations wish
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the employees the best qualities. Some companies have strongly
believe
Change the verb form
believed
show examples
 in dressing smart.
However
, Others claim
tha
Correct your spelling
that
 hard
workers
Replace the word
work
show examples
is much
substantial
Correct quantifier usage
more substantial
show examples
.
This
 essay will analyze both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
dress
Wrong verb form
dressing
show examples
 smartly is more formal for work the normal
drees
Correct your spelling
dresses
show examples
 which,
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 the employee the mindset of discipline. It is
also
 possible to say that,
Submitted by abdullmajeedsugati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Try to complete your essay with both an introduction and a conclusion to clearly present your views and summarize your main points.
Development
Expand on your ideas with detailed explanations and relevant examples to provide a more comprehensive discussion on the topic.
Coherence
Review the coherence of your essay. Make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next with clear connections between your ideas.
Completeness
Avoid incomplete sentences and thoughts. Each point you introduce should be fully developed and concluded within the essay.
Introduction
You have made an effort to introduce the topic and present both views, which is a good start.
Opinion
Your willingness to express your own opinion on the subject is noted and appreciated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: