The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts illustrate the changes
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
the proportion of
people
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
born inside and outside
Australia
living
Correct word choice
and living
show examples
in
difeerent
Correct your spelling
different
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
it can be seen from the bar charts that the most of
people
who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
inside and outside
Australia
chose to
living
Change the verb form
live
show examples
in
cities
in both two
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
. It is apparent that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of
people
born in
Australia
who chose to
living
Change the verb
live
show examples
in
cities
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
1995
is incrasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
to 60
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
in 2010.
However
,
people
who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
in towns and rural areas
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
decreasing from 20 and 30 to 15
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
in 2010.
Additionally
, the number of
people
born outside
Australia
who chose to
living
Change the verb
live
show examples
in
cities
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
from 60 to 80
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
in 2010.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
of towns and rural areas
is decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
from 1995 to 2010 at 10 and 5
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
respectively.
To conclude
the trend of living in
cities
is increasing in both
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
people
but in trends of towns and rural areas
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
in 2010.
Submitted by kran0630482559 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, cities, percentages with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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