The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group.
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The table gives information about the proportion of groups age of
New
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in New
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Zealand between 2011 and 2012. In summary, the percentage of
people
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of
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in
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New Zealand witnessed a slight increase.
In addition
Linking Words
,
whereas
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the proportion of
people
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under 40 years old decreased, other groups' age showed an increase sharply. New Zealand's population rose by 0,6%. Particularly, the 65+ group ages view an upward trend of about 4% from 573.946 to 596.903.
In addition
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, the number of
people
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aged 40-64 expanded by 0.6%, from 1.331.907 to 1.339.898.
Conversely
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, the most major group age, aged 15-39 decreased by 0.2%, falling from 1.577.256 to 1.574.102
people
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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aged under 15
also
Linking Words
dropped by 0,2%, from 898.160 to 896.364.
Submitted by lyviet0026 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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