IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The company you work for has decided to close the cafeteria, as the staff is not using it much. You are not happy with the decision. Write a letter to the director  Give reasons of low usage  How it will affect the staff  Suggest ways to improve it

#company #work #cafeteria #staff #decision #director #usage
Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing
this
 letter regarding
decide
Replace the word
the decision
show examples
 to close the cafeteria, i was inconsiderate about
Correct article usage
the dicision
show examples
dicision
Correct your spelling
decision
division
due to
 we unable
Fix the infinitive
to ultilize
show examples
ultilize
Correct your spelling
utilise
 several
provide
Replace the word
providers
show examples
. I must explain that
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 low
ultilize
Correct your spelling
utilize
 not a lot of
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
, as you know our
staff
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
 facilities at
cafeteria
Correct article usage
the cafeteria
show examples
 like wifi, kitchen, and a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 water
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
bathroom
Add an article
the bathroom
show examples
.
this
 is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
uncomfortable for our
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think we will need
compline
Correct article usage
a compline
show examples
 and change
decide
Fix the infinitive
to decide
show examples
. So far
staff
 become
lazy
Rephrase
too lazy
show examples
 to attend to
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
this
 is
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 mistake decision because facilities
overther
Correct your spelling
other
overture
 is crucial for
Correct your spelling
employees
employers
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
, so that way if we can not
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 provide we will be unhappy and I
Correct your spelling
reckon
rack on
rackon
Correct your spelling
think
 our
staff
 will be resign I think we make
Correct article usage
a circel
show examples
circel
Correct your spelling
circle
 to
disscus
Correct your spelling
discuss
discus
 about
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
, like
increasee
Correct your spelling
increasing
Correct article usage
the fasility
show examples
fasility
Correct your spelling
facility
 for our
staff
 able
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
 a lot of facilities and
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 satisfice and happy
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
show examples
job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
, not resigen. enough for us to
Correct your spelling
receive
recive
Correct your spelling
receive
this
 is
Correct your spelling
brief
Correct article usage
a brif
show examples
brif
Correct your spelling
brief
 from my
complain
Replace the word
complaint
show examples
 your
sienceerly
Correct your spelling
sincerely
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Try to structure your letter into clear paragraphs with an introductory statement, followed by reasons, impacts, and suggestions.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use transitional phrases to link your ideas more smoothly within and across paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Ensure your letter addresses all parts of the task by providing clear reasons for the low usage, detailing its effects, and offering specific suggestions for improvement.
Task Achievement
Consider the tone of your letter. While it is generally suitable, it could be made more formal by avoiding conversational language and ensuring correct usage of formal expressions.
General
Check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation to enhance readability and formality.
Task Engagement
You made an effort to engage with the task by addressing the key points required: reasons for low usage, impact on staff, and suggestions.
Greeting & Closing
Your closing was polite and appropriate for a letter of this nature, helping to end your correspondence on a respectful note.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: