Some people prefer to spend most of their time with friends. Other people prefer to be alone most of the time. Which way of life do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Today, many
people
like to be with their
friends
most of the
time
. On the other side, some
people
are eager to be alone most of the
time
.
According to
my perceptions, being with
friends
is better than being alone. Because
,
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apply
show examples
soleness
will lead the
person
toward some diseases and makes the
person
away from society.
To begin
with, today the majority of
people
who struggle with depression have been alone for a long
time
. When a guy is alone and does not have any specific hobby automatically he will start thinking about useless matters.
Hence
, that
person
will worry and have a lot of tension. To exemplify
this
statement, most
of
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criminals who are in solo cells in prison have depression and some mental problems because of being alone for the long term.
In addition
, humans are social creatures and need to be in the community. And
soleness
makes the
person
aware of the crowd. When a
person
is out of society he will not have any
friends
having no
friends
is a very hard
in
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apply
show examples
dilemma since he does not have anyone who
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
his hand and supports him.
Additionally
,
while
being with
friends
we will learn new things from our
friends
besides
, we can have some activities
such
as
,
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apply
show examples
football, tennis and badminton and we will enjoy ourselves a lot in comparison to
soleness
. Summing up, some
people
are eager to be alone most of the
time
while
others tend to be with
friends
. Regarding my opinion and the mentioned reasons in
this
essay spending
time
with
friends
is more beneficial in comparison to
soleness
.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

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sentence structure
Try to develop a more varied and complex sentence structure to convey your ideas more effectively. This will enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
specific examples
Integrate more specific examples to support your points. While your essay references general ideas, drawing on personal, historical, or hypothetical examples can strengthen your argument.
grammar spelling
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transitions
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them to strengthen the flow of your essay. This can be achieved through the use of more linking words and phrases.
introduction conclusion
Introduced and concluded the essay effectively, clearly stating your position.
main points
Successfully outlined main points that were relevant to the topic and your argument, demonstrating an understanding of task requirements.
engagement
Made a clear effort to address the topic and provided reasons for your viewpoint, showing engagement with the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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