IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to present time. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to present time. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps illustrate the
school
 was changed between 1985
to
Correct word choice
and to
show examples
 present time.
Overall
, it can be seen from the present map in every
landscape
 of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 changed
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
 1985 except
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 , entrance and exit. It is apparent that
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
landscape
 in 1985, the shape of
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
 park is
triangle
Add an article
a triangle
the triangle
show examples
.
Additionally
, there are many types of
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
such
 as
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
, library
classroom
Fix the agreement mistake
classrooms
show examples
 and classroom
block
Fix the agreement mistake
blocks
show examples
 with 2 storeys.
Moreover
, the
landscape
 of
map
Correct article usage
the map
show examples
 in present
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 changed in various lands
such
 as
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 park
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 changed to
half
Correct article usage
a half
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
circle shape
,
Correct word choice
and, library
show examples
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 room
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 changed to
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
show examples
 resources centre.
Lastly
, the playing field
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 decreased and
instead
 of pool and fitness centre.
Although
 the
school
 hot allow the car drive to playing fields. In conclusion, the
landscape
 of the
school
 from 1985 to now
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 used to give benefits for students because
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of students
rising
Wrong verb form
has risen
show examples
 to 2300 students
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 present.
Submitted by kran0630482559 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, landscape with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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