Write a letter to your manager telling him about how sitting for long hours for your work has affected your health. In your letter you should mention; 1. What health problems are you facing. 2. Give suggestions as to about what changes can be brought about to reduce the health risks on you and on your colleagues. 3. How will these changes be beneficial to the company when it comes to future employees.
Dear Katerine,
I am writing to you in order to inform you
on
my recent health problems caused by Change preposition
of
a
polluted Remove the article
apply
air
at work.
First of all, I have been feeling headaches almost every day, but I did not pay any attention to it. Recently I have decided to go to a doctor and check my health. I did all the tests and analises
. And, apparently, the result was not a positive one. The doctor said it was caused by Correct your spelling
analyses
analysis
a
polluted Correct article usage
the
air
when I do nails
and that pollution Correct pronoun usage
my nails
have
to be Change the verb form
has
immediatelly
reduced.
Correct your spelling
immediately
After
this
, I decided that I should said
it to youChange the verb form
say
,
so that we can make a solution. There is a risk that other employers will Remove the comma
apply
also
feel sick because this
gel powder flying in the air
can influence everyone. Therefore
, we can try to wear a new mask made by "Xiaomi". It is said to protect the airways from external factors. Or we can buy a better machines
that will reduce the amount of gel around us.
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better machine
better machines
To sum up
, all the changes we can make will be beneficial in the future,
because ill workers can lead to legal consequences. Remove the comma
apply
In addition
, fresh air
helps concentrate and be in a good mood.
Thank you in advance.
KseniiaSubmitted by ksrnnn on
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task response
Try to directly address the points mentioned in the prompt more explicitly.
task response
Ensure the topic of the letter aligns directly with the issues and suggested outcomes listed in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs to organize your letter clearly, each with a single idea or point.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using a more varied range of sentence structures and connectors to enhance flow and clarity.
content
You did well in explaining the cause of the health issue and suggesting specific solutions.
structure
The overall structure of the letter is logical, making your points easy to follow.
tone
You effectively used a respectful and appropriate tone throughout the letter.
The Closing
The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.
Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.
Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)
- Yours faithfully,
Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)
- Yours sincerely,
Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)
- Best regards,
- Warm wishes,