You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
The graph that I am
gonna
Verb problem
going
show examples
talk about here shows the total
percentage
of films released and the total
percentage
of cinema ticket sales between the
years
1996 and 2006. These two graphs are
sperated
Correct your spelling
separated
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
four main genres which are
Drama
,
Comedy
,
Fantacy
Correct your spelling
Fantasy
and
Romance
, in 2006 the
drama
Correct quantifier usage
number of drama
show examples
films were higher than that of 1996 films
as well as
comedy
also
had a higher
percentage
in the 2006 mark.
In addition
to fantasy
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
had a higher
percentage
in 2006 even though it was one of the least
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
genres throughout the
years
with
romance
being the least of all. Now
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
talk about the list of genre
favorites
Change the spelling
favourites
show examples
in the
years
1996 and 2006,
Comedy
had the highest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
of cinema ticket sales with
drama
below it and
then
fantasy and
romance
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the bottom of the list
while
Drama
had the highest
percentage
of film releases with
Comedy
in 2nd
then
fantasy
as well as
romance
became
last
,
also
Romance
had the same
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of film releases in both 1996 and 2006
years
while
the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of cinema tickets was higher in 1996.
Submitted by abdullmajeedsugati on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, as well as, while".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, years, drama, comedy, romance with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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