20.Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, but others think that people should have freedom to do whatever sport activities they choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The popularity of extreme
sports
is booming dramatically day by day. Regarding that, a mass of the population opines that
this
kind of
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
should be prohibited by authorities.
However
, some folks believe that it is
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
right to participate in their
desire
Replace the word
desired
show examples
sports
. I am inclined towards
people
's autonomy to choose their favourite game.
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
In the present essay, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides before giving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
constructive feedback.
To begin
with, there are various reasons why certain
people
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
to ban dangerous
sports
. The
prepondarant
Correct your spelling
preponderant
preponderance
one is
people
's safety. To
further
explain, if we think logically, there is no sense to play any
sports
by
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
someone's
life
at risk. To cite an example,
according to
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
survey, a significant number of sportsmen are facing
life-thretning
Correct your spelling
life-threatening
injuries
while
playing wrestling. Another considerable reason for putting
Add an article
a restriction
show examples
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
on extreme
sports
is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the person who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
playing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extreme
sports
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
putting his
life
in a danger zone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some responsibility towards his family.
For instance
,
familes
Correct your spelling
families
of sportsmen who died
while
playing
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
to
suffered
Change the verb
suffer
show examples
a lot not only
financialy
Correct your spelling
financially
but
also
emotionally.
Additionally
, some advocates firmly believe that there are tremendous
sports
activities that can be adapted by
sports
-lovers which can be safe
as well as
exciting
such
as football, cricket and many more. Talking about another aspect, being a part of
this
democratic
socity
Correct your spelling
society
everyone has
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to opt
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
desired
sports
activity. Apart from that, there are certain
people
who
inspired
Add a missing verb
are inspired
show examples
by extreme
sports
and devote their entire
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
strengthening their muscles to participate in the
sports
and want to get a name and fame.
For example
, as per the
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number of youngsters showing interest in dangerous
sports
are considerably
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
in
camparison
Correct your spelling
comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
last
year.
To conclude
,
although
as a democratic citizen,
people
have a right to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
dangerous
sports
to get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fame and money
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I personally believe that there are other alternative
sports
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
while
Correct word choice
which
show examples
people
can achieve the same thing without compromising
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
because
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
life
is always
imprtant
Correct your spelling
important
as compared to playing any
sports
.
Submitted by margijoshi19 on

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grammar
Consider revising sentences for better grammatical accuracy and clarity. Minor errors can distract from the overall message.
examples
Work on providing more precise and clear examples to support your arguments.
tone
Make sure to maintain a formal tone throughout the essay, avoiding colloquial language.
idea development
Try to develop your ideas further and provide deeper analysis for each viewpoint before concluding.
task response
You've clearly introduced both views and your own opinion as required by the task.
coherence
You've used paragraphing to organize your essay, helping readers to follow your argument.

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