20.Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, but others think that people should have freedom to do whatever sport activities they choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The popularity of extreme
sports
is booming dramatically day by day. Regarding that, a mass of the population opines that this
kind of sports
should be prohibited by authorities. Fix the agreement mistake
sport
However
, some folks believe that it is individual's
right to participate in their Correct article usage
an individual's
desire
Replace the word
desired
sports
. I am inclined towards people
's autonomy to choose their favourite game. I
In the present essay, I will discuss both Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
sides before giving Correct article usage
apply
a
constructive feedback.
Remove the article
apply
To begin
with, there are various reasons why certain people
wants
to ban dangerous Correct subject-verb agreement
want
sports
. The prepondarant
one is Correct your spelling
preponderant
preponderance
people
's safety. To further
explain, if we think logically, there is no sense to play any sports
by puting
someone's Correct your spelling
putting
life
at risk. To cite an example, according to
recent
survey, a significant number of sportsmen are facing Add an article
a recent
life-thretning
injuries Correct your spelling
life-threatening
while
playing wrestling.
Another considerable reason for putting Add an article
a restriction
restriction
on extreme Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
sports
is that,
the person who Remove the comma
apply
are
playing Change the verb form
is
in
Change preposition
apply
the
extreme Correct article usage
apply
sports
by
putting his Change preposition
apply
life
in a danger zone have
some responsibility towards his family. Change the verb form
has
For instance
, familes
of sportsmen who died Correct your spelling
families
while
playing has
to Correct subject-verb agreement
have
suffered
a lot not only Change the verb
suffer
financialy
but Correct your spelling
financially
also
emotionally. Additionally
, some advocates firmly believe that there are tremendous sports
activities that can be adapted by sports
-lovers which can be safe as well as
exciting such
as football, cricket and many more.
Talking about another aspect, being a part of this
democratic socity
everyone has Correct your spelling
society
freedom
to opt Add an article
the freedom
their
desired Change preposition
for their
sports
activity. Apart from that, there are certain people
who inspired
by extreme Add a missing verb
are inspired
sports
and devote their entire life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
in
strengthening their muscles to participate in the Change preposition
to
sports
and want to get a name and fame. For example
, as per the evidences
, Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
a
number of youngsters showing interest in dangerous Correct article usage
the
sports
are considerably increases
in Wrong verb form
increased
camparison
Correct your spelling
comparison
of
the Change preposition
to
last
year.
To conclude
, although
as a democratic citizen, people
have a right to involve
in Wrong verb form
be involved
a
dangerous Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
sports
to get a
fame and money Remove the article
apply
and
I personally believe that there are other alternative Correct word choice
apply
sports
by
Change preposition
in
while
Correct word choice
which
people
can achieve the same thing without compromising with
Change preposition
apply
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
because person's
Correct article usage
a person's
life
is always imprtant
as compared to playing any Correct your spelling
important
sports
.Submitted by margijoshi19 on
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grammar
Consider revising sentences for better grammatical accuracy and clarity. Minor errors can distract from the overall message.
examples
Work on providing more precise and clear examples to support your arguments.
tone
Make sure to maintain a formal tone throughout the essay, avoiding colloquial language.
idea development
Try to develop your ideas further and provide deeper analysis for each viewpoint before concluding.
task response
You've clearly introduced both views and your own opinion as required by the task.
coherence
You've used paragraphing to organize your essay, helping readers to follow your argument.