Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
The report of increasing numbers of animals that have gone extinct has raised public concerns. The various factors that have contributed to
this
rapid increase of
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
extinction
will be discussed in this
essay, alongside with
solutions will be suggested. To increase the Change preposition
apply
country
economy, tourism development is crucial. Change noun form
country's
Firstly
, like many developing country
, over-infrastructure has put a negative Fix the agreement mistake
countries
impacts
on the environment. Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
For example
, in Thailand, in order to attract more foreign visitors, they demolished large
amount of forest to build hotels, tourist attractions and facilities. Change the article
a large
This
large scale of demolish
has Replace the word
demolition
lended
to deforestation, causing pollution and disturbing different unique Correct your spelling
led
ecosystem
among Fix the agreement mistake
ecosystems
the
wild animals. These factors have narrowed the Correct article usage
apply
change
of survival and accelerated the Correct your spelling
chance
extinction
. To decline the speed of animal extinction
, the Government has an important role. First of all, establishing regulations on human activities at
the wild. Control the number and scale Change preposition
in
on
building tourist-related infrastructures. Apply penalty for illegal construction. But most of all, educate the public Change preposition
of
the
importance Change preposition
on the
on
conserving Change preposition
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
natural
. In conclusion, to protect the wild animals from Replace the word
nature
extinction
. It is critical for human
to stop over-construction. The government should Fix the agreement mistake
humans
also
implement laws on illegal human activity in the wild so that our nature can be preserved.Submitted by nataliewong313 on
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lexical resource
Consider diversifying your vocabulary more. Using a greater range of vocabulary can enhance the clarity of your ideas and arguments.
grammatical range and accuracy
Be mindful of grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('This large scale of demolish has lended to deforestation' should be 'This large scale of demolition has led to deforestation'). Improving your grammar will make your argument more persuasive and your essay easier to follow.
task response
Try to develop your ideas more fully with further examples or explanations. This will help in fully addressing the task and making your position clear.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay paragraphs are well-organized. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details. This helps in making your essay more coherent and cohesive.
structure
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
introduction
You effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear thesis statement outlining what the essay will discuss.
conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the key points made in your essay and restates your position effectively.
examples
You have used relevant examples to support your arguments, such as the situation in Thailand, which helps to illustrate your points clearly.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite