IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the bar chart below shows the top ten countrie for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

the bar chart below shows the top ten countrie for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
#bar #ten #countrie #production #consumption #electricity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart demonstrates the power
production
Use synonyms
 and
consumption
Use synonyms
 in Kilowatts per hour by billions in various
countries
Use synonyms
 by rank in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, ten
countries
Use synonyms
, China and the United States of America, are at the top in terms of
production
Use synonyms
 and
consumption
Use synonyms
. China obtained the first rank with a
production
Use synonyms
 rate of 5,398 and a
consumption
Use synonyms
 rate of 5,322
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
, America stands at 4,099 in
production
Use synonyms
 and 3865
kWh
Use synonyms
 in utilization. Following the top two, Russia, Japan, and India produced 1,057
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
, 935.2
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
, and 871
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 respectively, with
consumption
Use synonyms
 rates of 1,038
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
, 856
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
, and 698.8
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 in the same order. Interestingly, apart from Germany, other
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Canada, France, Brazil, and Korea exhibit similar
production
Use synonyms
 and
consumption
Use synonyms
 rates. The most developed
Use synonyms
countries'
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
production
Use synonyms
 and utilisations are heavily high
due to
Linking Words
 major manufacturing and industrialisation.
Submitted by sivareddymarella6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words production, consumption, countries, billion, kwh with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • gigawatt hours (GWh)
  • renewable energy sources
  • non-renewable energy sources
  • industrialization
  • economic activities
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainability
  • energy efficiency
  • power generation
  • grid capacity
  • energy policies
  • consumption patterns
  • energy demand
  • production-consumption disparity
  • environmental impact
  • greenhouse gas emissions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: