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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps illustrate the developments which took place in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
village
Use synonyms
 of Stakeford in two different
years
Use synonyms
 (1930 and 2010).
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of the two maps reveals a complete transformation from a largely rural to a mainly urban
area
Use synonyms
. In the year 1930, the
village
Use synonyms
 was a much greener
area
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 with a few
houses
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, but during the next 80
years
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, the
village
Use synonyms
 saw a number of significant changes. On the west side of
Use synonyms
village
Add an article
the village
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, the agricultural
area
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 was removed to make way for a new residential
area
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 along the road.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the shops which were located next to the post office were removed and they were replaced with a new junction with more
houses
Use synonyms
 along it.
However
Linking Words
, the post office remained unchanged in both
years
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only a few
houses
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 in the north of
river
Correct article usage
the river
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 remained but they put
a much
Correct the article-noun agreement
a much house
much houses
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houses
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 . and the primary school in the west along
school
Add an article
the school
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. and the garden in the south of the river
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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removed and they put a retirement home there are a few trees they removed
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and the farmland in the north of
river
Correct article usage
the river
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removed
Add a missing verb
was removed
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 .
however
Linking Words
, the bridge in the north remained unchanged in both
years
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words village, years, area, houses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • village
  • maps
  • Stokeford
  • 1930
  • 2010
  • main features
  • overview
  • changes
  • similarities
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