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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
#visitors #uk #purposes
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The line chart illustrates the
number
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 of
visitors
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 abroad who came to the UK from 1989 to 2009. The purposes for visitations are business, holiday, and meeting friends and relatives. Unit measurements are in millions of
visitors
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.
Firstly
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, the
number
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 of
people
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 who visited for a holiday increased slightly from 1989 to 2009. It started at around 6.5
million
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visitors
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 and ended at around 9
million
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.
However
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, it reached a peak of
visitors
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 in 1994, which reached around 9
million
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visitors
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, similar
at
Change preposition
to
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 the
number
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 in 2009.
Furthermore
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, the
number
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 of
people
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 who visited for business grew incrementally within the same period. The growth started with about 5
million
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visitors
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 and reached about 7
million
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visitors
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. The
number
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 was in the highest position around 2004, slightly higher than holiday visitation.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
people
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 who visited to meet friends and relatives significantly jumped during the same years. The
number
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 started from approximately 3
million
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visitors
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 and reached approximately 6
million
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at the end
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 of the period, almost two times from the beginning.
Overall
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, the
number
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 of
people
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 who visited the UK for different purposes increased for all purposes.
In addition
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,
people
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 who visited friends and relatives were consistently in the lowest position.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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