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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

these days many families move abroad for work.some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. others beleive that it make their life more difficult.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Moving to another place can be a challenge for many
families
Use synonyms
 and their children. I believe that there are many negative and positive aspects of immigration. The most fight in
this
Linking Words
 process is for youngsters. Recently, the rate of moving to a new land was raised. I guess we will observe the level of travel will be growing in the future. From my point of view, there are many reasons to move abroad that
families
Use synonyms
 tend to apply.
For example
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, working, children studying, running a new business and
also
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 marrying and so forth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people do not agree with
this
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 topic because they believe that the process is so hard for kids. If we look at both views of travel we will see different advantages or disadvantages that we can mention.
However
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, not only
migrating
Add a missing verb
does migrating
show examples
 have many benefits for some
families
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 can help them to improve the level of their lives in terms of many angles
such
Linking Words
 as economics, lifestyle, job seeking and the educational system. In my opinion, moving to a new country is an impressive idea for
families
Use synonyms
 or people that have a big dream and goal to reach. Generally speaking, the benefits of migration are more and more than the troubles.
In contrast
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, I think people who want to go should evaluate the whole of
this
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 path in spite of the fact that has many good options.
Finally
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. I completely agree with the view that travel is so long and hard for children and they will face a wide range of problems
such
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 as finding new friends, learning a new language and so on. Taking everything into conclusion, migration is a serious decision and
is defined
Wrong verb form
defines
show examples
family's
Correct article usage
a family's
show examples
 destiny. I profoundly believe that moving is
appropriate
Add an article
the appropriate
an appropriate
show examples
 decision for the whole family. After a short
while
Linking Words
 they will be satisfied with their own application.

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Sentence Structure
Diversify your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Support Examples
When providing examples, be sure to make them specific and clearly linked to the points you are making. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Thesis Statement
Include a clear and direct thesis statement in your introduction to immediately present your viewpoint and what the essay will discuss. This will help to guide your reader through your arguments.
Paragraphing
Ensure a clear distinction between each paragraph with a single idea supported by specific examples or reasons. This helps in achieving better coherence and cohesion throughout your essay.
Transitions
Use linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay and make your ideas easier to follow.
Balanced Argument
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view, which is good for task response.
Effective Conclusion
The conclusion summarizes your viewpoint effectively, reinforcing the key points made in the essay.
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