Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The investment
in Correct article usage
Investment
space
exploration has become a debatable topic nowadays. Therefore
, some people argue that such
a large sum of money should be invested in sectors of higher priority .I completely agree with this
view and reasons for my opinion will be discussed.
Firstly
, it should be admitted that there are some countries in which lack of facilities have
caused serious life Correct subject-verb agreement
has
treats
to the citizens. Correct your spelling
threats
For instance
, in many African countries, thousands of people die due to
starvation and lack of drinking water every year. Clearly, the reason behind this
is the insufficient amount of funding for food production, which could be eliminated by cutting some donations in other fields such
as space
researches
. Fix the agreement mistake
research
Therefore
, most of the individuals oppose research in outer space
.
Another reason to support this
view is that the final outcomes of space
explorations will be beneficial to some particular groups such
as outer space
explorers not for all mankind. However
, if these money
had been spent on pharmaceutical industries, people would have gained more beneficial outcomes and improved health Change the determiner
this money
by
Change preposition
apply
them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For
example
there are Add a comma
example,
bunch
of critical diseases Add an article
a bunch
there
in the world, yet a proper medication has not been found . Rephrase
apply
This
shows why some others are against investing money in space
research.
In conclusion, there is a strong ground for the argument for funding on
critical sectors in which every person can get advantages. Meanwhile, it has to be emphasized that some crucial testing in the Change preposition
apply
space
, which will provide life changing
findings, should be encouraged by everyone.Add a hyphen
life-changing
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, aim to provide a balance of viewpoints before conclusively agreeing or disagreeing, especially in a 'to what extent' question. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Grammar
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
Use of Examples
You presented relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your response.