IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The investment
Correct article usage
Investment
show examples
 in
space
Use synonyms
 exploration has become a debatable topic nowadays.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some people argue that
such
Linking Words
 a large sum of money should be invested in sectors of higher priority .I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view and reasons for my opinion will be discussed.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it should be admitted that there are some countries in which lack of facilities
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 caused serious life
treats
Correct your spelling
threats
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 to the citizens.
For instance
Linking Words
, in many African countries, thousands of people die
due to
Linking Words
 starvation and lack of drinking water every year. Clearly, the reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is the insufficient amount of funding for food production, which could be eliminated by cutting some donations in other fields
such
Linking Words
 as
space
Use synonyms
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, most of the individuals oppose research in outer
space
Use synonyms
. Another reason to support
this
Linking Words
 view is that the final outcomes of
space
Use synonyms
 explorations will be beneficial to some particular groups
such
Linking Words
 as outer
space
Use synonyms
 explorers not for all mankind.
However
Linking Words
, if
these money
Change the determiner
this money
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 had been spent on pharmaceutical industries, people would have gained more beneficial outcomes and improved health
by
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 there are
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
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 of critical diseases
there
Rephrase
apply
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in the world, yet a proper medication has not been found .
This
Linking Words
 shows why some others are against investing money in
space
Use synonyms
 research. In conclusion, there is a strong ground for the argument for funding
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
critical sectors in which every person can get advantages. Meanwhile, it has to be emphasized that some crucial testing in the
space
Use synonyms
, which will provide
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
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 findings, should be encouraged by everyone.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your coherence and cohesion, consider varying your linking words and phrases more. This will create smoother transitions between your ideas.
Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, aim to provide a balance of viewpoints before conclusively agreeing or disagreeing, especially in a 'to what extent' question. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Grammar
Incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures to further improve your grammatical range and accuracy, aiding both your coherence and task achievement scores.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
Use of Examples
You presented relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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