IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
The diagram illustrates detailed steps of making
cement
Use synonyms
 and its subsequent
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 in
concrete
Add an article
the concrete
show examples
 production process.
Overall
Linking Words
,
stages
Correct article usage
the stages
show examples
 in producing
cement
Use synonyms
 are more complex
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the creation of concrete which only
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of certain
recipe
Fix the agreement mistake
recipes
show examples
 and mixing
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
. Going into the details,
journey
Correct article usage
the journey
show examples
ot
Correct your spelling
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cement
Use synonyms
 production starts
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 crushing limestone and clay together. The refined materials
then
Linking Words
 will be mixed and continue to flow into
rotating
Add an article
the rotating
a rotating
show examples
 heater, before
granulated
Add a missing verb
being granulated
show examples
 into smaller grains using
grinder
Add an article
a grinder
the grinder
show examples
, which are
then
Linking Words
 called
cement
Use synonyms
 as
finished
Add an article
a finished
the finished
show examples
 product.
This
Linking Words
finish
Change the verb form
finished
show examples
 product will
then
Linking Words
 be packed and delivered to
customer
Add an article
the customer
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
cement
Use synonyms
 becomes one of the ingredients of making concrete. The composition
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 15% of
cement
Use synonyms
, 10% of water, 25% of sand and 50% of gravel.
Finally
Linking Words
, all will be mixed together using
mixer
Add an article
a mixer
the mixer
show examples
 to produce concrete.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • quarrying
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • grinding
  • kiln
  • clinker
  • gypsum
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • concrete
  • building materials
  • limestone
  • clay
  • fine powder
  • rotating
  • cooling
  • hydration
  • aggregate
  • compression
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