Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
an ongoing debate on whether
schools
should mix their male and female
students
or not.
This
essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion. On the one hand, separating male and female
students
in
school
may improve their learning focus, particularly for girls. When female
students
are located in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
same-sex
schools
, some studies have found that
this
way of learning has a positive effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their concentration significantly.
This
is because female
students
tend to have difficulties
to express
Change the verb form
expressing
show examples
themselves when in the same room
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
boy
students
.
Consequently
, in the class,
for example
, they can ask freely to their teachers about their subjects.
In addition
to
this
, they could participate in sports
such
as football and basketball. They feel have an equal opportunity among them that
Add a missing verb
is corelated
show examples
corelated
Correct your spelling
correlated
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fostering their achievements in
school
.
On the other hand
, others argue that mixed
school
would improve
students
psychologically. When boys and girls are united in the same room, they are more likely to learn how to communicate with
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
sex that crucial for self-development.
Although
some of them may have
closed
Replace the word
close
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
, that
usually
Add a missing verb
are usually
show examples
restricted by
school
committees, especially in religious
schools
, it is an important stage for their
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
.
For instance
, a study showed that workers who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
graduated from mixed-
school
classes have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
in the workplace compared to same-sex
schools
. In conclusion,
although
same-sex classes
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a benefit to girls
students
, I am of
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
opinion that it is better to mix female and male
students
.
Submitted by salwafahanim on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both views on co-education vs. single-sex education and presents a clear personal opinion, which is great for task achievement. To enhance, ensure your opinion is consistently evident throughout.
coherence cohesion
You've organized your essay in a logical structure, making it easy to follow. To improve, you could benefit from varying your linking phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples and clear reasoning supports your main points well. To further strengthen your argument, consider incorporating wider-ranging examples and data.
task achievement
Effectively discusses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced consideration.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Presents a clear personal opinion in the conclusion, providing a well-rounded perspective on the topic.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
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