IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

People increasingly rely on credit cards for regular payments. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #payments #outweigh
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,
pleople
Correct your spelling
people
use
credit
cards
at
Change preposition
as
show examples
form
Add an article
the form
a form
show examples
 of payment
mor
Correct your spelling
more
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 ever
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
comes with it pors and cons some may be offset their need
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
use
.
Credit
cards
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
commen
Correct your spelling
common
 form of payment in the world. As it gives the user the convenience of
perchusing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
 items at
Correct article usage
the requiered
show examples
requiered
Correct your spelling
required
 time even if you don't have the cash in hand or in a bank
acount
Correct your spelling
account
.
this
enebled
Correct your spelling
enabled
 lot of
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 to have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 flexible shopping
experiance
Correct your spelling
experience
.
For example
, buying a new dress for a wedding and not having the
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 for it, buy it now and pay it later. Another
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 someone could
use
credit
cards
 is buying online as
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
websits
Correct your spelling
websites
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
this
 form of payment to sell their items and services.
However
,
credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
also
 come with a lot of
disadvanges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 most
commenly
Correct your spelling
commonly
 shopping addiction, buying things with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 plastic
card
 without checking your balance can
potantionlly
Correct your spelling
potentially
 lead to unfortunate
cridet
Correct your spelling
credit
card
 debt defeting the purpose of obtaining it.
Moreover
,
credit
cards
 can be stolen
easliy
Correct your spelling
easily
due to
 a
week
Correct your spelling
weak
show examples
 security system of the
credit
card
 provider or
miss
Correct your spelling
misuse
show examples
use
 by the owner. in conclusion,
cridet
Correct your spelling
credit
cards
 are
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
very
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 and
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of privileges like
flexable
Correct your spelling
flexible
 payments and online
use
. but
this
also
 includes the risk of getting stolen and
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
caried
Correct your spelling
carried
 away.
Submitted by fatimahalsalman215 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of using credit cards, which is great for task achievement. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea that directly responds to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Well done on providing a logical structure to your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. For coherence and cohesion, try to link your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs, and within them, through the use of cohesive devices like conjunctions and transition words.
task response
To enhance your essay, include more specific examples to support your points. This not only makes your arguments more persuasive but also increases the comprehensiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of spelling and grammar errors, as these can distract from your message and overall coherence. Regular proofreading can help minimize these mistakes.
task response
You effectively touched upon a range of advantages and disadvantages of credit card use, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a conclusion summarizing the main points, reflecting a good structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: