Give me an approximate score out of 9 for Ielts task 2 based on this question: some people believe that professional such as doctors and engineers should work in the country where they did their training. Other believe that they should be free to work in another country they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In the beginning, working in another
country
was always an area of debate and has become more controversial. People
are divided into two groups, some of them claiming that country
job opportunities should give the
priority to its population Correct article usage
apply
while
others reject this
notion. In my opinion, It could has
both positives and negatives for many reasons. My point of view will be discussed in Change the verb form
have
further
paragraphs with suitable
conclusion.
Analyzing and Correct article usage
a suitable
further
explaining of
the statement, working in another Change preposition
apply
country
could have many advantages for professional improvement and financial aspects. For example
, some of
Change preposition
apply
people
who are highly qualified could be trained in a small and under-growing country
with low
economy that might diminish their abilities and capabilities with limited job chances Add an article
a low
especially
for doctors and engineers so, moving to another Add the comma(s)
, especially
country
will open wide horizons of careers thus
, improve themselves as well as
their income.
On the other hand
, one of its dark Fix the agreement mistake
sides
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
that
Add a missing verb
is that
Correct word choice
opening
open
chances for all Replace the word
opening
people
to work in a country
without setting a priority of native people
who trained and lived in it will increase the rate of unemployment at an alarming rate which will push them to leave their country
seaking
for a job. Correct your spelling
seeking
speaking
Also
, cost
of living in another place could be expensive. Another pertinent point to mention, it could affect their Correct article usage
the cost
phsycological
state Correct your spelling
psychological
for
being away Change preposition
by
of
their family and friends more than those who chose it by themselves.
In conclusion. I believe that the advantages Change preposition
from
outwight
the disadvantages and the aforementioned points Correct your spelling
outweigh
have
strongly support my point of view. Unnecessary verb
apply
However
, every coin has two sides and so is
working in the same or Verb problem
does
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
country
. It will depend upon the people
's mindsets which view they are in favour of.Submitted by rm0.almohsen on
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Introduction Clarity
Ensure a clear introduction that presents your thesis statement more directly, stating explicitly your opinion on the topic.
Use of Cohesive Devices
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This can include transition phrases and synonyms to avoid repetition.
Specific Examples
Strengthen your main points by providing more detailed examples and evidence. This helps in clearly conveying your argument to the reader.
Tone and Style
Pay attention to maintaining a formal tone throughout the essay. Avoid colloquial expressions and ensure the use of formal vocabulary.
Grammar and Spelling
Be mindful of grammar and spelling to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay. Proofreading can significantly reduce errors.
Task Response
You have discussed both views as the prompt requests, which is essential for addressing the task fully.
Structure
There is a good basic structure to your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarises your opinion, which is an important element of a good essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.