the chart shows the percentage of males and females who were overweight in Australia from 1980 and 2010

the chart shows the percentage of males and females who were overweight in Australia from 1980 and 2010
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The chart compares the proportion of
males
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and
females
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diagnosed with
obesity
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in Australia between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
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,
males
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are more likely to be overweight than
females
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throughout the whole examined period. There were increasing rates of
obesity
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for both
males
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and
females
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until 2000
while
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the percentage of
males
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started to decline slightly and that of
females
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remained stable in 2010. Starting with the graph of
males
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, the rate of
obesity
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rose a little from 40% in 1980 to just below 50% in 1990 when the gap between
males
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and
females
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. shrinks the most.
Then
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, It grew more dramatically in 2000 reaching approximately 65%
although
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it experienced a drop in 2010 for the first time as it hit just above 60%, which is still higher than in 1980 and 1990. Turning to the
obesity
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rates of
females
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, they had been slightly lower than those of
males
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for 30 years. Indeed, the percentage of
females
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is lower by nearly 10% with just above 30% in 1980. In 1990,
females
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also
Linking Words
experienced a radical increase with about 45% like
males
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as the proportions of
males
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still excelled those of
females
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.
Moreover
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, their
obesity
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rates continued to rise until the graph
finally
Linking Words
reached a peak at over 50% in 2000 and remained unchanged until 2010.
Submitted by mizuho on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, obesity with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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