Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. What are the causes and solutions?
The
increase
number of Replace the word
increased
crimes
average
in cultured places is higher than Correct word choice
apply
pastoral
Change preposition
in pastoral
areas
undoubtedly, most of
Change preposition
apply
people
around the world afraid
of it. Add a missing verb
are afraid
This
is mainly because of the lack of local citizens and the huge number of people
. There are a
several solutions which should be implemented to deal with Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
crimes
rate in urban Change the noun form
crime
areas
rather than rural areas
.
To begin
with, new criminals are mostly those who got bored from
Change preposition
in
the
Change the word
their
life
or even who have a problem with specific Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
. Also
, due to
lake of local citizens, multiple cultures people
are common in the
urban spaces unless of towns and rural Correct article usage
apply
areas
. For example
, when foreigners were
Wrong verb form
are
spreaded
in the Correct your spelling
spread
country
other countries people
are not accustomed to the people
from the same country
, therefore
they may misunderstand each other for some trivial reason then
it
might lead to wrong action that makes a crime. Correct pronoun usage
which
Secondly
, it is known overpopulation can play a large role in raising amount of crimes
moreover
criminals have a big chances
Correct the article-noun agreement
chance
as well as
they could steel
watches, Correct your spelling
steal
wallet
and expensive glasses taking advantage of the crowding of Fix the agreement mistake
wallets
people
to achieve their awful goals.
There are two effective solutions to solve the problem of high rate of crimes
in urban areas
than rural
Change preposition
in rural
areas
. One method to fix this
is to ensure that government
Correct article usage
the government
let
locals Wrong verb form
lets
to
live in the capital and provides them opportunities to find living apartments and houses. By doing that, it will help the visitors as they are new Change the verb form
apply
people
in the country
to realize the traditions by
the Change preposition
of
country
people
like they connect each one together. Another way of dealing with the
criminals generally is to limit Correct article usage
apply
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
people
to arrive in all year months
unless they make a table for visiting seasons. Fix the agreement mistake
month
This
solution would hopefully will minimizes
Wrong verb form
minimise
crimes
chancesFix the agreement mistake
crime
to happen
.
In conclusion, letting locals Verb problem
apply
to
live in the capitals and limiting tourism trips are effective in dealing with Change the verb form
apply
this
issue. If responsible sites implemented these solutions, would
drop in both urban and rural areaCorrect pronoun usage
there would
Submitted by s_syedy on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction
Your introduction briefly addresses the topic, but it would benefit from a clearer explanation of the essay's main points. Try to outline your arguments succinctly in the introduction to guide the reader.
Paragraphing
Make sure to clearly differentiate your paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph, followed by supporting sentences that develop this idea.
Vocabulary
Be cautious with word choice to avoid confusion, such as 'cultured places' for urban areas and 'pastoral' for rural areas. Use precise and appropriate vocabulary to improve clarity.
Grammar
Work on grammar and syntax to enhance readability. Avoid run-on sentences, and ensure subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage throughout your essay.
Examples
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. While you mentioned general causes and solutions, elaborating with detailed examples can strengthen your points and make your argument more persuasive.
Task Response
You effectively address both parts of the question, discussing causes and solutions for higher crime rates in urban areas compared to rural areas.
Grammar and Sentence Structure
You use a variety of sentence structures, which shows an attempt to create a diverse linguistic presentation.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay's main ideas and reiterates the importance of the solutions you proposed, which is a good practice.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.