Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
#communications #medicine #transport #systems #depend #computer #technology #reliance #fields #situation
In the 21st century, technological development in computer systems is ever-increasing. Many sectors
such
as communication, medical
and transportation highly depend on Replace the word
medicine
this
technology. Some believe that dependence on this
computer technology has led to dangerous situation
. I agree Fix the agreement mistake
situations
this
statement and facts related to my view will be discussed.
Change preposition
with this
Firstly
, in order to run these computer-aided platforms availability of electricity is a must in most of
Change preposition
apply
the
cases. but, there can be some unexpected power failures that can cause malfunctioning of connected devices. Correct article usage
apply
This
can lead to bad consequences in fields such
as communication, medicine and transport because these systems transfer data via Add an article
the internet
internet
. Capitalize word
Internet
For instance
, Correct article usage
a Patient
Patient
can die a hospital if he is given Correct article usage
a Patient
Correct article usage
the wrong
wrong
medicine Correct article usage
the wrong
as a result
of this
kind of Correct article usage
apply
a
problem.
On top of that, users Correct article usage
apply
in
some of these services might have to face severe life Change preposition
of
treats
as their privacy can be disclosed in Correct your spelling
threats
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, it is a simple task for hackers and dark website developers to sneak into online facilitated devices and hack the data. Moreover
, information can be changed according to
their need. As a result
of this
, accuracy
of the data will be lost and Add an article
the accuracy
this
can lead to increase
in Correct article usage
an increase
road side
accidents as most of these routes are signalized at junctions.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
roadside
although
there are a lot of benefits of advancements in computer-based technology for individuals, it is not wise to depend only on this
knowledge. Experties
need to find some alternative ways to ensure the security and preciseness of these programmes.Correct your spelling
Expertise
Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on
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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction sets the context well, but try to more explicitly state your position. In the body paragraphs, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is fully developed.
Coherence
Work on your coherence by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Using cohesive devices can help your essay flow more naturally.
Task Response
Address the task fully by exploring both sides of the argument, even if your position is clear. Including a counter-argument could strengthen your essay.
Accuracy
Be attentive to grammar and spelling to enhance clarity and professionalism. Small errors can distract, but they don't heavily impact your overall score.
Example Use
You've provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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