IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays consumer goods have become the most important part of people’s lives. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#consumer #goods #part #people’s #lives #outweigh
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In
this
Linking Words
 time and age consumer goods have gained a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 importance with
this
Linking Words
 import and export businesses have flourished a lot. In my point of view, in
this
Linking Words
 modern
Use synonyms
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 these goods hold an important value in
people
Use synonyms
's lives and surely their benefits
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the drawbacks. In the past
people
Use synonyms
 used to live a simple life with limited resources but with the advent of time things have changed and
people
Use synonyms
 now have surrounded themselves with plenty of things and needs. Some basic necessities of life are clothing, food gadgets, electronics and others and these are making lives easier
as
Change preposition
by
show examples
 providing
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of advantages. An outstanding example of
this
Linking Words
 is
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
 that we have now in choosing things we have so many alternatives in today's
world
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 made communication and life easier everything is just one click away and it has changed
Use synonyms
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 into a global village.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of consumer
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 is a profitable business and
providing
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 jobs around the
world
Use synonyms
 in factories.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of goods
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 making lives
esaier
Correct your spelling
easier
 and providing income
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 so for sure
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages.
Submitted by sananayyab91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure variety in sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest and demonstrate language proficiency.
task achievement
You could enhance your essay by providing more detailed examples and statistics to support your points, adding depth to your argument.
grammar
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and aim to correct these in your final proofreading to improve overall clarity.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion which directly addresses the task requirement, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay exhibits a good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The use of examples to support your points, such as technology making life easier, effectively illustrates your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mass production
  • consumerism
  • economic growth
  • environmental degradation
  • natural resources
  • overconsumption
  • waste management
  • landfill
  • social inequality
  • materialism
  • financial strain
  • mental well-being
  • quality of life
  • job creation
  • productivity
  • pollution
  • deforestation
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